What a Maple Glazed Donut Taught Me About Human Connection

Last night, after a long day, and a high-energy event, I climbed into an Uber expecting (…and hoping for) a quiet ride home. Forty minutes later, I knew more about Tim Hortons than I ever thought possible and had been reminded of one of the most important lessons in etiquette.

My driver began sharing stories about his work, his family,

and his experiences. As the ride continued, I found myself genuinely interested in what he had to say. I asked questions, listened carefully (and genuinely interested), and learned far more than I ever expected to know about how products are prepared at Tim Hortons…did you know the donuts are frozen! By the time we arrived at my destination, I felt as though the ride had lasted only a few minutes.

As I gathered my things and prepared to leave, he turned to me and said, "Thank you so much for this great conversation. You made the ride really enjoyable. You are a really nice woman."

It was a simple comment, but one that stayed with me.

In my etiquette workshops, I often say that one of the greatest gifts we can give another person is our attention. We live in a world where people are increasingly distracted, where many conversations become opportunities to wait for our turn to speak rather than opportunities to truly listen. Yet the desire to feel heard remains universal. Whether we are speaking with a client, a colleague, a friend, a family member, or an Uber driver, most people simply want to know that what they have to say matters. He was so excited to share that in a few weeks, he was going on a holiday to Regina to meet his girlfriend that he had met while working at Tim Horton’s! How sweet….

As I walked toward my front door, I couldn't help but smile because the interaction reminded me of something I teach all the time: etiquette is not about knowing which fork to use or memorizing a set of social rules. At its heart, etiquette is about making other people feel comfortable, valued, and respected. It is about making someone feel, even for a few moments, as though they are the only person in the room.

There was nothing extraordinary about the conversation itself (well, maybe the frozen donuts part…). I didn't offer advice. I didn't solve a problem. I simply listened, asked questions, and took an interest in another person's story. Yet somehow, we both arrived at the end of the ride feeling a little better than when it began.

As etiquette professionals, speakers, and leaders, we spend a great deal of time encouraging others to communicate thoughtfully and build meaningful relationships. Every now and then, it is nice to receive a reminder that these small acts of consideration still matter. They matter in boardrooms. They matter at networking events. They matter around the dinner table. And, as it turns out, they matter in the back seat of an Uber.

The greatest irony is that while I set out to teach nothing that evening, I came home with two valuable lessons. The first was an unexpectedly detailed education on the inner workings of Tim Hortons. The second was a reminder that genuine human connection remains one of the most powerful skills we can cultivate.

Long after I've forgotten exactly how every Tim Hortons product is made, I suspect I will remember that conversation. Not because it was remarkable, but because it reinforced a simple truth: when people feel seen, heard, and valued, everybody leaves the interaction feeling better.

And in my view, that's etiquette at its very best.